2005-08-14 - 10:39 p.m.

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Tonight I feel strange. I feel restless and uneasy - something odd looms on the horizon and I don't know what is it yet.. but I always feel like this before a huge shock

Now either I have some strange early warning system built into my body somewhere... or its a case of forcing circumstances!!

I know this feeling

I HATE this feeling... I don't even know which part of my life it relates to

Gareth?

work?

friends?

I think maybe I'm just tired and so unbelivably melodramatically worried about ali going away!

I honestly truly can't even talk about it wthout getting worked up and upset about it.. its so pathetic I mean shes 22 for goodness sake but I've spent 15 of the best years pf my life with her right there by my side and..

I'm a cling on

I don't move on

I cling and I worry and I fret

and I cry

Like I'm doing now

Over nothing

My life is wonderful and I feel so ungrateful for being emotional over nothing

I have pmt so I'm blaming that! It's been a big and difficult year this year for many many reasons and I think maybe I'm just waiting for it all to go wrong again!

Stupid isn't it... Im sad because I'm so happy!

it scares me

happiness scares me

and Im tired

yes blame that moo.. blame that

x x x

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