2005-09-21 - 1:26 p.m.

So ok I�ve been here just over an hour and I already feel like I�ve been here all day. I�ve already taken about a gazillion phone calls and 4 deliveries and two clients have been in already and I�m only starting to really wake up now.

I got in last night and cleaned up after the kittens and then I tried to spend some time with my lovely Mylesy (3legs) cat but the kittens were so happy to see me after being alone all day they just pounced me continually for about an hour begging for cuddles and purring and chewing me and crying when I tried to put them down. I do love them but poor poor Myles she just wanted a few strokes from her mam and the little sods were having none of it. I fed the kittens but Myles ate most of it and Ziggy (longhaired) really only wanted Taras (blind) food and I didn�t see tara eat all night and I�m worried about her. I spent a bit of time on the internet making video clips for you all (back one entry) hehe! I had my tea, watched friends and then made my lunch for today. I made Gareth buy me a mango to cut up and bring in a little Tupperware box but when I tried to cut it up the way you�re meant to it all got ruined and I got it everywhere and ended up with such a piddly amount of cubes and I was so sad. Gareth does it like it�s the easiest thing in the world and I just ruined it! After that I went to bed and was kept up all night by the kittens fleeing around the house like nutcases.

Eventually the kittens came to bed for some cuddles (they usually sleep in their box but I was lonely so when they came and snuggled up I just let them. Once I got to sleep I woke up at 3:30 because I realised Gareth hadn�t rung or even text to say goodnight so I rang him and twisted in a half asleep state about it and he was on the way home (in the car with James) so it wasn�t until he sent texts afterwards that I felt reassured. I woke up at 5 because I had leaked everywhere (I know I was delighted) the kittens cried and cried and followed my while I was cleaning up because they were tired and wanted to be cuddled. My alarm went off at 6:30 and the kittens convinced me with their lovely purring and nuzzling that what I really wanted to do was lie in for a while longer. I finally tore myself out of bed at 7:30 to discover that the kittens had been sick in three different rooms at some point during the night, I cleaned that up first and then realised I didn�t have time to get the bus now so I booked a taxi for 8:10 (plenty of time to get there) and tried to finish getting ready. The kittens clawed the hell out of my stockings and I was wearing a skirt so I had to change them then they clicked the next pair and THEN I realised I have magically got no bobbles (hair ties) left but I hadn�t been in the shower so I couldn�t leave my hair down (remember I HAVE to look presentable so hats are out of the question too) I searched high and low for something to use and ended up using a shoe lace.

It took me three attempts to get out of the house because ziggy(longhaired) is waaay too quick and she kept jumping past me and almost escaping while I held the other two back. I was outside by 8:07 and waiting for my taxi� by 8:25 I gave up and went through the rigmarole of unlocking all twenty locks on the front door to go back in and get the number to ring them. They denied me ever making a booking because they wouldn�t have said yes since they were so busy. By this time I was about as fed up as a moo could be and so I trawled around other taxi companies (while the kittens cried and climbed all the way up my legs in an effort to be hugged � yes again ruining my tights) I finally found one but it coulnd�t get there until half past (I should be IN by then) I rang work to explain and then hurtled back out of the door. When the taxi got there he was a friendly enough man but low and behold we got stuck in traffic.. huraaaah! Got to work for 8:50 ran in to find out that my message had NOT been passed on (though my line manager was lovely about it anyway) I hurtled around the building trying to get my jobs done and managed somehow for exactly dot on 9am when I set the switchboard on just in time for an influx of calls in 10 minutes that totalled my usual total for a whole day. It was during this mad calling frenzy that I realised I have left my wedding and engagement rings next to the kitchen sink when I cleaned the kitten sick off my hands. I actually stopped talking mid sentence when I realised and the person thought they�d been cut off and hung up (oooops) I feel so naked without them and so so so annoyed with myself for forgetting (a lot of the time I wash my hands with them on because I HATE taking them off.. they�re part of me)

*Sigh*

So yes here I am! At work. I have (while I�ve written this) booked some hotels for clients and ate some of my poor mushy mangled mango in Tupperware. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WITHOUT HIM.. the whole world spins itself upside down to get in my way. With Gareth my days are fluid and they are smooth we run things and it�s so perfectly balanced. I have another two whole days of this until he gets back. I�m 22 and I can�t even get to work on time on my own.

Saying that friends for all the ranting this entry has entailed.. I�m not feeling too bad really. A little frazzled perhaps but (apart form the ring thing) not unhappy. HE is out wowing crowds of freshers with his beautiful voice and I�m sure they�re not too put out by having to look at him either. 2 days is nothing really I�m just needy and I like company. I rang Lisa last night but got no answer and no call back so I�m thinking of just invading her house or something tonight� well I would except I can�t can I? No because I can�t leave the kittens all day AND all night :�-( I do love them but they�re bloody hard work. At least when I used to have the siblings around I could take them places with me.. I can�t exactly throw the kittens in a buggy and go for a walk. It�s so odd that if they were puppies or babies I�d feel completely at ease with them and with looking after them.. but they�re kittens and so anything I do results in a mild inner panic as to whether I did it right. I spend all of my time thinking things like

�are they sleeping too much?�

�am I handling them enough?�

�have they eaten enough?�

it�s stupid because babies are much MUCH harder to look after in theory but they just don�t scare me. Maybe it�s because I�m a woman.. I feel natural with children I know what they want. Lovely lovely kittens they more than make up for it by being so cute and soft but they do worry me.. and worrying is not my thing.. I�m not a worrier.

This would all be so much funnier if Ali were here.. which is why I think I shall ring her now (no doubt wake her up bloody lazy arse) and tell her the story of my day. I know already that I�m going to laugh at it when I tell Ali. See even thinking about telling her I feel better already!

Then I shall ring Gareth and tell him how much I love him

Because I do

And I love you also because if you�ve read this far down this entry you must be having a really boring day!

*hugs*

x x x
ADDED LATER: well I didn�t ring Ali yet though I am about to because she text me and it made me cheery! Rang Gareth and he was distant and uninterested (which actually means he was busy and I called at a stupid time but hey I�m having �one of those days� so I�m allowed to be moody about EVERYTHING) so like the knob I am I hung up and then cried. Then in the middle of a huge run of messages my computer froze (to pass messages on here you email them from reception) when I finally got it back on I tried my best to remember what Id sent and what I hadn�t but guess what.. the ONE� ONE message I didn�t pass on was really important and the client was really annoyed and I got told off. Lunch time finally arrived and I sat down in the kitchen (under my coat because I needed cosiness) felt myself completely just relax at the thought of escaping into my book for the next hour� and discovered I haven�t brought it!! AAAAAH!! It must be the first time in a year I�ve not carried a book in my bag (I took it out this morning looking for my keys) I can�t even begin to tell you how gutted I was. I wish I didn�t get so wound up by such teeny things but really� every single teeny thing that could go wrong for me today has done so spectacularly. Also� I had leaked again! AAAH and I have monster bad cramp and no pain killers and dirty pants.. how wonderful is that??. They were white by the way .. my pants.. when I left the house this morning I was wearing clean simple white cotton pants.. and now� dirty scaggy red stained YACKYACKYACK! I want to go home� except when I finally do the one person I want to see right now won�t be there. I�d ring him but I HATE speaking to him while he�s away because he is busy and I know it is but I take it personally because I miss him and he is completely competent without me and I�m shit without him! Moan moan moan!! Please tell me a joke! Please please please�. All funny jokes and stories this way for me please!!

x x x

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