2005-12-26 - 8:29 p.m.

WARNING � longest entry in the universe

Well I keep promising you an update and then loads of things happen� to add to our super hectic lots of drama month so far Becky (Gareths sister) came to visit us and while she was here had a phone call to say that one of her friends (they�d all been away on a skiing trip she couldn�t afford to go on) had been killed in an avalanche ? She is such an AMAZING example of all things right with humans and I HATED seeing her that sad. Poor Bex she handled it really well because she�s wonderful and tremensously strong like that but I know that doesnt mean it won�t be hard. I won�t go into a huge rant about it because I didn�t know him but it was awful to see her so sad.

As well as that Gareths parents had their house broken into and robbed while they were alsleep upstairs� that really makes me uneasy.. somebody some hottible nasty bad thing was in their home while they were sleeping and I just.. Yack I don�t like it! I mean having things stolen is always bad but it seems worse somehow ecause so much worse stuff could have happened. It didn�t though.. and for that I am rejoiceful haha!

Anyway.. away from the badness and onto happy stuff!! I have here some photo�s for your viewing pleasure!! (as well as obviously for memories sake.. I love reading old entries and being happy about things I�d forgotten all over again don�t you?)

London was AMAZING!! Not so much the city though I must say it has never EVER been as beautiful or appealed to me as much as it did while it had my girlies in it!! I love them they could make me love any place by making it somewhere I remember fondly.

I have not laughed so much for a very very VERY long time if ever! I don�t know how I�ve survived this past year not living with them saying goodbye felt so strange because it�s so unnatural for us to be apart. I do see Becca and Lisa of course but it�s so long since we�d all been together like that!! Bliss doesn�t even begin to say it.

Do you know that feeling? Where you are just so completely at ease and know that nothing at all could ever even put the teeniest dent in the love someone has for you? I hope you do know that feeling if not now then I pray with all my strength that each one of you finds it someday. They have been my friends for so many years and through so much yet all our friendship does is get better!! I really worried for a while that surely at some point it had to fade out and become aged � but it hasn�t we�re all so much more alive around each other and truly honest to Jesus himself I would be NOTHING without those girls!! (adele I know you weren�t there but you are included in that too)

Somebody once told me that when I fell in love my friendships wouldn�t mean as much � wouldn�t seem as colourful but they could so much not have been more wrong!! Since I met Gareth and hurtled so madly disastrously ankles over arse in love with him my friendships have taken on new levels more colourful more magical stronger levels and they add to our relationship they don�t take away. Gareth loves them almost as much as I do and we all function as such a perfect little community!

We must have walked not far short of 6billion miles over the weekend and Ali and I even managed to spend an entire day in bed (hungover but worth it) before the others got there!! Haha even spending the day in bed is fun with Ali (that sounds much ruder than it is I can assure you right now that I am not the kind of girl who has a cake AND eats it if you know what I mean ;-) AHAHAHA)

There was not a single point in the entire trip where I felt bored, worried, stressed or alone. I felt amused, happy, content and complete!! Ali is settled nicely in London but not in such a way that I got scared she�d never come home.. because she IS home and I AM home and wherever either of us go it won�t be without the other because after 18 years of being �US� no amount of distance can separate us!!

This is all so gushy but I just love being with them and I miss living together so much. We intend to all buy a castle at some point and move into a wing each!! The boys all love each other too so it�s all good!!

Managed to squeeze in a visit with Andrew literally just before I got the train home (we went for cups of tea in kings cross) and while I was there with him it felt like nothing at all could ever have been wrong. Of course since then there has been odd outbursts of doubt and anger (like when he made plans then cancelled GRRR) I know we can�t really conduct our friendship the way we used to but seeing him again reminded me that it will be ok one day. Either �she� will get over herself or she will disappear (I know that�s mean but I mean it in a way where he wouldn�t be hurt about it) either way a deep instinctive part of him connects to me and me to him.. we�ll be ok!

He is home for xmas but Viv came with him so I won�t be seeing him until possibly after she goes home�. I won�t hold my breath but I WILL keep you informed!

By the time I went to London all of our money was a bit screwed because of the recent events but it made little difference!! I mean it was obviously a little bit annoying not to be able to buy out the whole of Camden Market!! I saw so many things I wanted to by for people I love (a lot of whom are reading this ;-p) But I had literally nothing for two of the days I was there.

So yes London was gooooood and now for some random Christmas pics� because I am so begind on entries!! AAAAH are you still there *prods* Hello?? Anyway yes..

I intended to post all of this before Christmas and then make a separate Christmas entry but I didn�t so have this one to be going along with and I�ll update about ACTUAL Christmas in a few hours when I�ve uploaded the pics

I still have to post your post christmas cards.. I'm still only halfway thorugh it's been a hectic time but I am sending them I absolutely am and I hope the lateness just makes them more original!!

I love you all

I miss you

MERRY CHRISTMAS

x x x

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