2006-01-18 - 5:39 p.m.
Well it is exactly 15 minutes since I arrived here at work and already I have nothing left to do ? I did try so hard to take my time too dammit! Well it�s easy work if you can get it. This is stupid I�m typing this so that I have something to do and yet every time anybody so much as thinks as walking past my desk I jump out of my skin and panic like I�m plotting a genocide or something. I shouldn�t feel guilty for just aimlessly typing for my own pleasure (or sanity more like) since the alternative is to just sit and swing in my chair until someone takes pity on me. Things should pick up later on� THIS is why I didn�t want to come in for 9 and I did tell her that not only is it cheaper and easier for me to get here AFTER 9 but there�s usually a good hours work if I don�t come in until 10. Still� it�s their money I suppose! You hear that people?? You are wasting your cash!! I know you�re previous temps made the work last all day� all week even (God only knows how) but that�s because they were LAZY and slow. You can pay me the hours it takes me to finish the stuff and then let me get on my merry way � surely that would be best for all of us instead of paying me to do NOTHING! I can�t even go on the internet or email even since my computer isn�t connected all I can do is wittle away the hours and then maybe make my time useful by later updating my diary with my wandering thoughts. I didn�t bring my USB key though so I�ll have to save this onto the hard drive for now � which makes me panic that someone will find it but how on earth they would be accessing my files is beyond me.
La la la la de deeeee de deeee!! I think I might go for a drink of the lovely water mmmmm! You want to know a secret I get really nervous about going for water in case the machine is empty and then everyone looks at me because I�m a knob. They wouldn�t of course but I worry. I�m going to go see!! No I haven�t gone yet I�m still right here I did take a break to swing my chair a little bit though!! Dooo de dooooo de dooooooo Maybe I�ll go get me some coffee!! Yeyas!! I shall!! There I now have a coffee.. want to know another similar secret�? You have no voice so I�m going to take that as a yes because to be honest who doesn�t want to know what I have to say?? We all know I am the fountain of all knowledge. Anyway�. What I was going to say is that I always get coffee from the machine (in the other room) instead of using the make it yourself stuff because since I�m not really staff here I�d feel bad using the special stuff they pay for plus the kettle is where everyone can see and there might be some weird etiquette to using it � you think I�m kidding but some offices are so weird about temps and what they are and are not permitted to do. I worry that boiling the special company kettle may be one of the things I�m not allowed to do so I just don�t� instead I pay 15p to buy one from the machine. The machine ones are nice but soooo hot that you honestly have to leave it for a WHOLE 20minutes before you can even THINK about drinking it.. because if you THINK about it it burns your brain.. it�s THAT hot!!
I am going to �come on� today and start a wonderful ride of the crimson tide� you know when you can just tell?? So that will be nice. My ever so friendly body is already giving me a little sample of the cramps which are yet to come. This will be my first period in three months� do you know last year I only had 3 periods??? How weird is that?? It was all of the pill swapping pill stopping and just general stressiness!! My last 3monthsofwombliningsheddingallatonce wasn�t particularly pleasant but I am enjoying the enlarged breasts!! Oh yes I am!!
The woman opposite me � her name is Jackie � is lovely!! She makes a real effort to talk to me and she�s so sweet!! I like her a lot a lot a lot!! Not as much as Lyndsey though.. I really miss her (my boss at black and white) I would spend this time emailing her and updating her about my festive season except I have no email so I can�t DAMMIT! Maybe I should write and hand post a letter to her.. everyone likes hand written mail� well it won�t be hand written it would be typed because this week/month I am a typist!! but hey!
La la la la la bored me! I�m going to lose weight this year� I�m not going to diet because I know I could too easily develop an unhealthy relationship with food which would completely break my heart and ruin everyone�s running jokes about me and how much I LOVE eating.. my calorie intake is lower than it should be for someone of my age and height it�s just the lack of exercise that is making me all dumpy and wobbly and such. This is not because I think skinny is the thing to be by the way and if this were my natural size I would be happy with it.. in fact to be honest I�m not awfully uncomfortable now HOWEVER� I was a size 8 and weighed under 9 stone for most of my life and so being so much more all of a sudden conveniently round about the time that I became a lazy TWAT� says to me I need to do something about it!! Plus Gareth deserves some sexy toned Moo I recon!! It�s a teeny bit embarrassing when your 6�2� husband weighs less than you (for him as much as for me) and since he tries his skinny little arse off to gain weight and fails.. I guess it�s up to me!!
OOOOH just thought about drinking my coffee before the allotted 20 minutes� burny burny� brain hand and mouth OUCH!! I�m waaaay too impatient!
Some of the people when you temp treat you like you�re stupid and it makes me kind of sad worse than that it makes me the kind of person who NEEDS to make sure everyone knows how qualified they are.. it�s getting to the stage where I may as well have a huge sign saying �I have a degree don�t you dare forget it� pasted across my head � I seem to keep forgetting that it�s not because they don�t KNOW that they think I�m stupid.. it�s because they don�t CARE. Having a degree (unless it�s one in teaching medicine or law [saying that even teaching ones aren�t guaranteeing work these days though they do still earn respect]) is pretty much a whole big pile of horse shit!! Three years of struggle and debt and then you come out of it and have to start right at the bottom like you would have if you�d started work after your GCSE�s It means the people who weren�t intelligent enough to go to college and then university.. are now your boss!! Not only that they are your boss and they LOVE it!! They didn�t have to get into giant piles of debt to do it� I suppose you could say neither did they gain the maturity and self knowledge that comes from going to Uni but that�s bollocks!
B-O-LOCKS!
OH I do like a rant on a Monday morning it so much brightens my day. I feel bad now though because now I feel like I�ve said everyone who didn�t go to uni or college is thick.. I don�t believe that for a minute I�m just bitter because my degree isn�t worth anything. I am jealous of all of the people who didn�t feel they needed to validate themselves by gaining more qualifications and just left school to work at 16. THEY are the really intelligent ones. I�m not as annoyed about it as I sound because I know going to university was what God had planned for me� otherwise I wouldn�t have met Gareth, lived with my best friends for 3 WONDERFUL years, I wouldn�t have became so close to Beccarat, I wouldn�t have met Ellie and so much more.. University was stressful (my course particularly since they so royally shit us around) but I had some wonderful times and debt or not I wouldn�t undo it� I just won�t be one of those parents who MAKES their child go to uni� I would love if they want to go and support it wholeheartedly� but I won�t make them feel like they�re somehow inferior if they don�t want that one more piece of useless paper! This is already going to be the longest entry in the world and by the time I can post it two days will have passed since it was written! Should I keep writing or should I go find something else to do?? Maybe I will draw some arty delights for you in paintbrush! Then I can pepper them joyously throughout this littered battlefield of my thoughts!! OH I AM SO BORED!!!
That's all I have time for now I'm afraid I feel I have killed quite enough time so you'll just have to wait to see what happened to the lovely cups!!
LOVELOVELOVE
x x x
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