2006-05-28 - 12:54 a.m.

I’ve written about 6 pages worth of love and gushing and totally rambling about the absolute OVERLOAD of emotions coursing through me as I sit here in the wee hours of the morning listening to Gareth’s latest song on loop. I have written it and then line by line I have deleted it and started again I’ve been doing that for hours now and this will be my final attempt.

Truth is – nothing I say is going to be enough to describe this feeling

Even now I’m fighting the urge to start describing it to you trying to tell you how his music reaches right into my soul and tears it open. I want to explain to you how talented he is, how COMPLETELY unique, complex, beautiful, lost, confident, scared, faithful, strong, small, big I WISH I could explain how much he has changed EVERYTHING in my entire WORLD. My fumbling words are such an insult to this feeling, so inconsequential and pitiful in comparison to the BURSTING love I feel. Loving Gareth makes everything in my life so different because he makes me so so so so very full of love and of hope that it spills out into all areas of my life. Every single one of you benefits from the miracle he has been in my life because it’s his love that makes ME love. Does that make sense? Before him I was bitter and I was angry I thought that the world owed me something and now I now that it is ME who is indebted to the world and it’s a debt I’ll spend my whole life trying to pay and never even come close. I wish you could hear this (you will when it’s finished) Gareth write from the very bottom of his heart and you can’t just hear that… you can FEEL it in every note. Gareth doesn’t know how to do things half heartedly he puts his soul into EVERY single tiny task he does and it completely floors me the way he masters new skills as if he was born an expert. I’m so sorry to constantly bombard you with my totally biased lovestruck gushing but if I didn’t let it out here I think it would actually COMPLETELY overwhelm me and I’d just overflow and drown in the LOVE!

I’m doing it again… I’m trying to put words to it and I am failing so you know what – why don’t I put it in it’s most simple form.

I LOVE GARETH PAUL WILLIAMS

I love him so much so so so very much that I could BURST!

x x x

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