Ok so I have SO MUCH to say but no time to type it AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I made these videos about a week and a half ago now BUT I didn’t get around to posting them – they’re long and boring and stupid but I have to be BAD for a while if I’m going to get better. Think I might stick to just WRITING for a while perhaps. But yes have some videos and then I will shoot off the quickest update ever because I have to type at lightning speed today so I can get everything jammed into the pitiful amount of hours in a day!! DAMMIT I NEED MORE HOURS!
*pickets*
(there were 4 MORE parts where I was lying on the couch but I’ve not got them uploaded yet so look out and I’ll add them on when I get home tonight)
EEEEP I can’t even bare to watch those back again.
So anyway yes what has been going on in the land of the moo. (or would it be the the-moo?? Don’t know maybe just in THE-LAND?) firstly Megafosterlovelycat (MEG) had her kittens – she went into labour at approximately 6pm on Friday and finished at approximately 6AM on Saturday. Gareth was gigging until about 3am so I did most of it alone and was KNACKERED by the end of it. The last foster cat we had (marvellous Marvie cat) seemed to find the whole thing so instinctive and all we really did was offer her a few strokes and watch her eat the afterbirth (fabulous viewing and not at all vile and horrid haha) Meglesmegle however was a different story entirely. Firstly she would NOT stay in the “BIRTHING NEST” but worse than that.. she seemed to believe that the HUGE body crushing contractions were just a MASSIVE crap trying to break forth. I lost count of the amount of times I had to practically drag the poor mite out of the litter tray and every time she looked at me with such utter disgust as if to say
“WHAT THE HELL!!??? I’ve heard the way you humans yell at the other cats when they use the carpet as a toilet why the hell won’t you let me poo in peace bitch GET OFF!”
As amusing as that was to me I couldn’t just let her have the kittens there the risk of infection for kittens is high enough as it is without letting her drop them out into her toilet. So finally after about an hour and a half out popped fluffy number one the sack was already broken but still PLENTIFUL mess and goo and mankiness all over my bathroom. If you’ve never seen a newborn kitten let me tell you – they’re not quite the teeny fluffball you’d imagine – they kinda look like little bloody rats – cute bloody rats because they’re SO VERY SMALL and vulnerable and sweet and squeaky but yeah.. they don’t look like kittens until at least 2 weeks or so! Maybe the fact that they looked like rats was what confused Meg because she was rather perturbed to see her rat-like poo wriggling and squeaking about all the floor. The Mother needs to lick the teeniefluffikins until it starts to breathe and also because they’re all wet and sticky and need to be cleaned but she took a LOT of persuading that this wasn’t THE most disgusting thing she’d ever seen. She kept looking up to me as if to say:
“REALLY what kind of SICK SICK FREAK are you? First you make me poo ON THE FLOOR against my will and now you want me to LICK IT?? Here’s an idea you depraved bitch… YOU LICK IT!! LICK MY TURD!”
and then she would paw the poor tiny newborn in my general direction before climbing into the nest and purring to herself looking anywhere BUT at me. I love Meg she’s a funny funny animal of very little brain but she does make me giggle. Anyway… I persisted with the weeny by rubbing it with a towel and once it was slightly less gooey and breathing nicely I put it ON Meg who then had an epiphany and began to mew and talk and purr and lick and mother and love and generally treat it like it might ACTUALLY be a kitten and not a freaky catcrap! Problem with this was that so much in love was Meg with teenyfluffy number 1 that she didn’t even NOTICE teenyfluffy number two arriving and wouldn’t even break the sac.. Once I’d gotten it out of the sac (which by the way is about the most VILE thing I’ve ever had to do) I put it next to teenyfluffy number one (still being mothered and loved at massively) and actually laughed out LOUD at the look on Megs face when she saw that there were two of these wonderful baby cat things to lick! Her eyes got about as wide as widethings and she lept up licking each one in turn
“one lick for you one lick for you mew mew mew meow purr one lick for you a couple of licks for you look look at these fostermam they’re mine aren’t they lovely ooooh lick lick lick purrrrrr”
Needless to say it was RIDICULOUSLY cute!
The rest of the story I don’t wish to share in great detail because I worry I’ll sit and cry at work. The labour continued for another 6 hours after this and despite many phone calls to the vet the cat shelter and Gareth arriving home to help me – the remaining two kittens of the litter never even took a single breath. Something (I have no idea what and the vet had no interest in helping me) I only know that when the first two were being cleaned I could SEE and FEEL at least ONE other kitten moving inside Meg but when they finally were born there was NOTHING we or anyone could do because presumably it had simply taken too long. I have never seen ANYTHING as sad. Two tiny helpless little souls who never even got to open their eyes one ginger and one a sort of tortoishell grey I would have loved them I would have cared for them and I would have done anything to make their time with us FABULOUS…but nature works that way sometimes and instead of being sad I get to smile and love and be proud of the two that did make it who will go on (when they’re old enough) to make fabulous pets because they were WILLIAMS raised.. and we raise good weenies!! Yes we do! Haha
In other cat news… (because I have stopped pretending to have anything else to talk about I’m THAT boring really I am) Marvellous (previous foster cat) and The runt of her litter Nina came to stay over night last night while Ellie and Jordan had their house inspected by their evil cat hating landlord. They’re such lovely natured cats the pair of them and it was lovely to see them both again. Our cats appeared to remember them too so it was all remarkably peaceful in the Williams Houseofmanyteenies
HAAH I said this was going to be a short entry but I’ve rattled off a flippin novel by doing it inbetween work stuffs. GO ME!! Are any of you still reading?? If so I thank you for either loving me THAT much or being THAT bored!
I have more to say too – but I’ll leave that to next entry… 12” ibooks and naughty PCworld AND Garethlove AND Wifelyness and upcoming weddings and photo’s and lots of ands and STUFF!!
Because if you’ve watched the video’s too I’m betting you’ve given me at least half an hour of your time and that is already more than this CACK deserves!
