2006-07-19 - 7:12 p.m.

Today - for the first time in about a million years I wore my hair curly ON PURPOSE!! Usually I go to all kinds of lengths to make it straight and over the years I've destroyed the natural bounce so that it can't muster the life to curl and it simply waves... so I gave it a help and I let it just be itself maybe for the first time since I turned 13! I PERSONALLY don't like my hair curly I love REALLY curly hair but I don't like my lackluster waviness... still I enjoyed the change and I did it for Gareth. He has been asking for ages if I would curl my hair for him and because it was for him I actually enjoyed it. I didn't mind that I knew people didn't really like it because I know he did... he REALLY did! ;oP hahaha

Things are still pretty hectic at the moment Gareth and I are just so busy that we could do with an extra 12 hours to each day just to have time to sleep - it's not too bad because happiness makes you more resilient I think. I'll still be glad when the summers over and things calm down a bit though. Work is mental and for a while it was upsetting to be in the middle of effectively a company war zone but it's not so bad really I get paid and I feel more confident with every hour!

Today is a special day to me because it's Alisons birthday - Alison for all you newcomers is the member of my clan that lives in london (she's also my best friend since the age of about 7/8) I love her COULDN'T love her more in fact and there are two pretty special presents being arranged for her!! I'm excited but although she doesn't normally read here I'm not chancing it!! shhhhhh! anyway

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALIWAH!!!

She was horrified when I told her I had my hair curly.. she knows how much I fight to keep it straight and how stressed I used to get when it wasn't. haha

Tomorrow I have the day off work to go to my uncle pauls wedding... uncle Paul is my dads youngest brother (he was a "surprise baby" and is a good 10 years younger than the other 3 siblings) I'm looking forward to the day off work and to seeing him get married... I LOVE weddings!!! I am a little worried however about the potential for fights to break out. I ADORE my family but they're not always the most restrained of people - my dad and my oldest little brother haven't spoken for about 5 years - my dad made a brave attempt to talk to my brother but was shunned because it's a long story but there is a lot of hurt ON BOTH SIDES.

I KNOW my dad and I KNOW he won't be so gracious twice... I also know my brother isn't even CLOSE to having forgiven him so yeah... most of my dads family don't speak to my brother (who lives with my mother incidentally) so we were all surprised when Gavin (the bro) was invited - I'm so so so pleased that my uncle Paul wanted him there because it's a small wedding and I know even if he doesn't say so that it means a lot to Gavin that he's still considered close family. I'm just a bit miffed that this is the first wedding Gareth and I will have gone to since our own and I KNOW I'm going to have to be the good big sis and sit and protect my baby bro (who isn't a baby he's actually 21) he's painfully shy and I wouldn't DREAM of expecting him to mingle alone... I know how it feels to be so scared about being alone with strangers (family but effectively strangers really) I know it's selfish to be bothered but my family LOVE Gareth they ADORE him and I love being near him watching him charm them and just generally being able to have a running comentary with him... he's not just my husband he's my best mate and we have a laugh... I don't resent my brother at all and I WILL take care of him all day... it would just.. you know what.. I'm just whining for no reason at all

SHUT UP MOO YOU MOANY MOANY GIRL

It's hot today... hottest July day in England EVER I think I heard said!! I don't fare well in the heat I'm too pale and to be honest being overweight doesn't help... oh it's such a good job you can't smell me over this diary.. I absolutely PONG to high heaven!! excuse the twistiness I AM looking forward to the wedding because my FAMILY (which now includes my husband) will be there and whatever else happens... a day with that many people I love... can't be TOTALLY bad can it?

I'm not sure if I'll take my camera because it's so bulky and also... technically belongs to my dad (he doesn't know how to use it but I KNOW if he see's me taking good pics he'll want it back) I WILL take pics of mine and Gareths outfits though.... for memory's sake!

Hope you're all having a great week.. I think I'm actually surprisingly up to date with your blogs at the moment... all 160 of you!!! I would cut down on the blogs I read.. but to be honest I don't think I could bare to lose even a single one of you!! you're all wonderful and I LOVE YOU

lovelovelove

x x x

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