2006-08-30 - 1:31 p.m.

MOOOOOOLIIIIINGS!!

Oh how I have missed you all in my weird limbo-three-lives-at-once-no-time-for-internet state!! Work is MENTAL because once again I am alone running an office with 3 peoples work loads ALONE as well as it being the busy busy stupid summer season and it’s all just too mental too mad too stupid no time to update or read or breathe or ANYTHING!

*pause *

I’m so sorry for being THE crappest diarist in all of the land (And a fairly bad friend too considering how long it is since most of you have had a comment from me) I keep thinking things are starting to calm down but I just have such a very very full life – and that’s a good thing but it means I constantly am behind with my internet life L Please don’t think I love you any less – I think about you when I’m not online and I wonder about you all pray for you smile about you and feel generally lucky that I got to meet you all because you are all…

FAAAAAAAABUROUS!!!

I don’t have time to write a lot right now (as usual) though I do have many many photo’s and bankholidayweekend stories for your enjoyment… or rather for MINE though you can get a sneaky peaky over at Leesmry’s diary and even if you don’t want the sneakypeek you should probably pop by and get some Lisa in your day because she’s gorgeous and sweet and she’s survived my friendship for over 20 years now so… CLEARLY she’s some kind of WONDERHUMAN!! I love her – are you reading this leesy? I LOVE YOU!!!

I also love YOU as well.. are you reading too? You know who you are.. feel the luuuuuuuuuuurve!!

I’ve been considering updating just to say I was alive maybe with just a few words even but the disgusting truth is that I couldn’t bare to replace the images in the last entry.. I have been having a fabulous time coming back and forth to read my comments and seeing the most beautiful man in the world all over my page!! GOOD GOD I LOVE THAT MAN!! Speaking of my man – he’s been an absolute DELIGHT to spend time with recently (why why does everything I say sound so sarcastic I actually mean it) We’ve not been managing a lot of sleep recently – because of just general busyness not anything else filthyheads – and so we’re both pretty tired all of the time.. the great thing is though that for some reason Gareth is HILARIOUS when he’s tired.. it’s like when normal people get drunk and he’s had me in stitches pretty much constantly over the past few weeks. Most people don’t appreciate our humour because a LOT of it revolves around insulting each other and mocking each other and other such meanness haha but I don’t care to be honest. My relationship is not FOR anyone else – their opinions of my marriage don’t matter to me not even a tiny bit because I KNOW how strong it is and how utterly PACKED full of love and if people disapprove from their view on the outside.. well ….frankly my dear I don’t give a damn!

Gareth is so much MORE than my husband – he’s my best friend, my lover, my baby, my hero, my inspiration, my comfort, my adventure, my safety, my favourite, my number one fan my GARETH. I could NOT be more at ease with him and I don’t think that’s a negative thing in any way!!

Do you know how much I love the world..? I just have been feeling especially hopeful and full of optimism and joy and love recently. There is so much horrible stuff that goes on in the world and it breaks my heart to watch the news reports most days – or even to hear about the horrendous weeks people have had. When you look at all the bad stuff it’s easy to lose sight of all of the things that ARE good though. Little things like seeing a teenage boy (and chrava/chav/scally for the british among you) come away from a gang of rowdy mates to help an old lady lift her wheeley bag onto a bus, being told by a man how his daughter had the most beautiful smile in the universe and that it had changed his world – there are so many examples that I’ll never get this entry finished if I start on them all. It’s just so easy to feel down trodden and I’m not for a moment pretending that some people don’t have AMPLE reason to feel angry and upset with the world.. but they should never feel hopeless because in every situation there is a glimmer of hope and of love. I KNOW that sounds naive and I am aware that it’s easy for someone with as blessed a life as me to say that but I like to think that I could carry this feeling into any situation (please don’t mob me and tell me I’m blind to evil I’m NOT I promise) There is so much LOVE in the world and I know people do HORRIBLE things but I honestly believe that humans are intrinsically good – we have a capacity to do SUCH great things – and while most people will never realise their full potential to change the lives of others we’re all doing it in a small way in everything we do. That person you held the door for this morning.. that one gesture may have brightened their whole day, the man you smiled at on the bus, the work colleague you let offload her problems on to you everything you do has the potential to impact someone else’s day. I LOVE people I love how fabulously diverse they can be and yet how the same we are at a base level. Everyday I encounter at LEAST one person who changes my day for the better just by existing. I wish I was better at explaining this * sigh *

The world IS beautiful and people are beautiful and I am so so happy to be alive!! I’m even more happy to be me – I don’t know why I get to be so lucky or so blessedly happy but I just want you to know that I’m not greedy about it and if I could cut it up in slices and hand it out.. you’d all be FAT with happycake!! Haha

And on that GLORIOUS note

I shall leave you and go do some work!

lovelovelove

x x x

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