2007-02-23 - 2:44 p.m.
Well this week has FLOWN over – I have done not even NEARLY as much work as I should have but I have gotten ALMOST caught up on diaries - except for the locked ones ..some of them have nice easy passwords but some I’ve either forgotten or they locked in my absence and I don’t know why. If you read here and your diary is locked PLEASE if it’s not too much trouble could you email me the password to DIDDYMOO@GMAIL.COM and I will squeeze some massive catcherupping into your diaries too!
Next week the overtheshouldermoaner will return to work and I’m afraid I shall once again be BEREFT of catchyupwithnetfriends time though I will still be updating at LEAST once a week so I won’t be totally gone even if you don’t have any comments or notes from me for a while.
We still haven’t sold our house but we’re not panicking yet it’s only been on the market just over a week and the right person will offer the right price and then we’ll be on the way!
[I almost want to retract that statement now Gareth just rang to rant about how we’re never going to sell it so we might as well just STAY]
* sigh *
We’ve been so unprepared for how utterly soul-destroying selling your house is. Gareth has been here for four years and for two of those I have been living there with him. It’s not a house to us.. it’s our HOME and it’s home to so many memories that I can see WHY he find it hard not to be offended when people look at it as coldly as they HAVE to when they’re landlords and are looking to make an investment. The buyers who plan to live in the house are MUCH better they love the property but we’re just not attracting as many of them as landlords which is a shame but there’s time for that to change yet it’s all fine and good and it’ll all work out exactly as God has planned we just need to STOP struggling to control every single tiny aspect of everything.
Do you know as of tomorrow I have been working in this “temporary job” – which I’m full time and permenant at now of course – for a WHOLE YEAR!!!!
CRIKEY! I was meant to do this until I could find something more worthy (which I intend to be joining the police force) but without relocating across the country (which we can’t do due to other commitments) I can’t do that just now because they’re not recruiting. I don’t hate my job it’s easy and it pays the mortgage but it’s NOT even remotely anything that I care about. Gareth is constantly offering to support me if I want to leave – but it’s not so bad that I’m in a massive hurry and I know he would COMPLETELY support me even if I walked out RIGHT NOW * considers it briefly * but I don’t feel strongly enough about it to jeopardise our financial security for what would be UTTERLY selfish and petty reasons.
I just don’t care either way and that’s not the kind of job I should be doing.. I mean I have a LOT of passion and compassion and there are PARTS of my job that I inject some love into but I don’t get that opportunity so often. It didn’t matter to me when it meant that I could use the time to try to learn about YOUR lives and attempt to encourage and support you but now that I can’t do THAT at work anymore.. I’m left wondering what I’m actually achieving here?
There are CURRENTLY more positives than negatives and I am adult enough to know that there are NO perfect jobs… but I suppose the word that sums up this situation best is just
MEH
and I don’t want anything in my life to be so GREY and so MIDRANGE and so….. so……. “MEH”
Haha I’ve just re-read that and I’ve utterly failed to say what I was going for there – I’m having a weird kind of dyslexia at the moment I can’t seem to put anything into words!
I have lots in my head but it just mustn’t be ready to come out into the open yet.
It seems like I’ve said only negative stuff here but I’m not FEELING negative about anything you know? My life is NOT a bad place right now in fact quite the opposite – EVERYWHERE I look in my life at the moment are things that make me want to BURST with joy!! I have a tendency towards that I’ve noticed.. when I describe something I tend to go for explaining the difficult parts I think it’s because I get secretly paranoid that my life is so good that people will hate me or think I’m gloating so I prove that I have difficult times too by making sure THEY are the bits that people hear about.
It’s hard to be sad when everyday you wake up next to the man of your dreams though.
* happy sigh *
ALSO…. Not that this means much to any of you but in a few months I am flying over to Ireland in order to spend a few precious hours with one of my most favourite people in the universe – I know her as KITTYFRIEND most of you don’t know her at all but yes.. she is flying across the world to be with her boy and I am going to steal some of their time and I could SO NOT BE MORE EXCITED!!!
It has also inspired me to create a page for this here diary to outline the many people that I’ve known first online and then have met up with… I’m working on it – I’ll show you when it’s done!
So in summary
HAPPY HAPPY MOO
LOVELOVELOVE for you (pathetic and utterly accidental rhyming)
x x x
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