2007-03-04 - 7:42 p.m.

So meet ME.. apparently the above sums up who I am!! I'm always let down by these things.. others claim to be so utterly summed up by them but I always find the answers restrictive in that my responses change a lot depending on situations or otherwise I just feel strongly about more than one of them... haha I'm not especially deep as a person but I stuggle to accurately portray EVERYTHING I am - I think most people who know me only know PART of me. Maybe it's just that I'm a little too diverse or maybe it's just that human nature makes us want to put people in a box and I just keep crawling out of mine or extending it into one big box made up of many little ones.

I don't mean to - and it's not that I don't have VERY strong opinions and standards I do and especially as a christian there are things that I WILL NOT MOVE ON.. but they're personal I don't think it's right or biblical to FORCE my faith and the lifestyle of that on others

Maybe I'm just weird

I hope I AM weird!! weird is so much better than NORMAL!! isn't it moolings? let's all embrace the weirdness!!

This week hasn't been as smiley as previous ones.. I'm still what I consider to be one of the luckiest women in the whole wide UNIVERSE!! I think it's just the amount of stuff we have going on all at once and it's all good stuff... or stuff that will eventually be good stuff.. I won't pretend for a minute that this whole moving house thing is much FUN.. but it will be worth it when we get through it.. I'm just KNACKERED!!

i don't really want to go into all of the details at the moment because that's just another way to moan and dwell on them which I shouldn't do!! Gareth is a bit down at the moment and I suppose if I'm honest that's WHY I'm letting myself be bothered by this stuff because I'm ANNOYED that's it's effecting HIS happiness and he's my tveeniepea my darlin my smoochie coochie husbandypoos and I HATE when he's down and I can't fix it.

Basically we are in the middle of situations that could go either way and if it's all NOT what we planned then fine we'll deal with it and we'll be happy because God wouldn't even put us in a situation we couldn't handle or that wasn't ultimately good for us.. and even when we CAN'T understand he's GOD... he understands far bigger things than our human brains can handle and I'm happy for him to be in charge... alternatively if all goes as we hope we'll be happy too obviously but it's this being inbetween and knowing that a bunch of incompetants - the same who've CAUSED the problems are in control of it all.

I suppose what we have to remember is that they're not REALLY in control - I've surrendered this to God a hundred times plus but I'm realising that when it comes to Gareths happiness I'm not very good at reliquishing control because I just want him smiling and content NOW not later!! haha it's the NOT KNOWING that I'm bad at.

I KNOW it will all be fine and I'm not taking back anything I said in the last entry I'm just venting so I can get back to smiling and dancing and being all joyfull again!

See already smiling!!! oooh that's terrible I shouldn't smile in pictures really!! haha

haha

LOVE YOU ALL GAZILLIONS sorry I'm not reading or commenting much it's taken me ALL of my willpower and strength to clear up enough time to write even this weak attempt at an entry!!

email me if you need me want me love me hate me or just don't have anything better yo do with your time whatever [email protected]

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